Begin conversations about “personal body safety” early and often
Having safety talks normalizes the conversation early on. Break down the barrier that so many of us were taught to put up in childhood: talking about our bodies and safety is taboo. If a child is never taught to be ashamed of their body and asking for help, they feel more comfortable having these conversations.

Explain certain parts of the body are private and personal
Let your child know that no one should touch private body parts unless it is to keep them clean and healthy. Reinforce this rule in the bath and shower, during diaper changes and potty training, and in the doctor’s office. This lets children know that while private body parts are personal, however, there are times very select people are allowed to help.

Teaching proper terminology of the body
It is recommended that parents teach children the anatomically correct words for private body parts. This makes it easier for a child to descriptively communicate if someone has ever touched them inappropriately. This also helps if they ever have pain or an infection…they can describe exactly what hurts!

Discuss the difference between safe and unsafe secrets
Safe secrets often come with an expiration date and involve fun, kindness, or a happy surprise. A surprise party is revealed on a birthday or celebration, holiday or birthday presents are opened with loved ones, and that homemade craft a child makes for their parents at school is shown when arrive home covered in glitter and say, “CLOSE YOUR EYES, I MADE YOU SOMETHING!” Unsafe secrets hurt; They can bring up feel fear, embarrassment, or concern for the safety of a child or their friend. Let your child know that no secret is too big or scary for them to share with you.

Encourage them to say “NO” when in an uncomfortable situation
Children are often shamed for saying no. “Talking back” or being defiant is closely associated with NO. If a child has been taught that “no” is disrespectful with no room for nuance, they will most likely hesitate to say no to an abuser. Teaching them it’s okay to be assertive to older kids and grown-ups who touch them inappropriately increases the likelihood of a disclosure to a trusted adult.

Ultimately, we want children to know that their body belongs to them. That no person is allowed to touch them in an inappropriate way or force them to keep unsafe secrets. We want children to be empowered in ways us adults were not. This conversation may begin in school with presenters like us, but to truly change the course for the next generation we need it to go far beyond school walls.

Some of the most common reasons children do not disclose sexual abuse are self-blame, fear, and an overwhelming sense of shame. Survivors are often groomed to think that the abuse was their fault, that they did something to cause it, or that they should have been able to stop it. 

Survivors may fear the unknown. What will happen if I tell? Will anyone believe me? Will the abuser be arrested? Will my friends want to be my friends any more? Will my family still love me? Fear is a primary motivator in keeping victims silent.   

Thinking about sharing, in explicit detail, what they have endured as victims can be overwhelming. Not only do they have to describe what happened, they have to relive their trauma and attempt to remember things they most likely wished they never had to think about again. 


While we do not know the true numbers due to low instances of reporting, it’s estimated that there are over 42 million survivors of child sexual abuse in the United States. 


In recent years, prevention educators have moved away from the “good touch/bad touch” and adopted the “safe touch/unsafe touch” vocabulary for one very big reason: sexual abuse does not always feel “bad.” Does this make us all uncomfortable? Of course. 

But language matters. You see, if we teach children that sexual touching underage is “bad” rather than “unsafe” they will download the belief that ALL sexual touching, even in adulthood, is bad. So when they are of a consenting age and choose to become intimate with a partner, something that is meant to be good has the learned belief that it’s actually bad. So we emphasize that any touching of private body parts as children, with the exception of keeping us clean and healthy, is an unsafe touch.