VICTOR
Welcome everyone to the Healing Everyday Podcast. My name is Victor,
DEANNA
And I'm Deanna.
VICTOR
What's going on, Deanna?
DEANNA
Not much. Uh, we are recording on, it's called Good Friday, right? So we're both off of work, which is so nice. And uh, you know, we have other stuff we have to get to. Like Victor and I will be doing, uh, couple of programs that we don't often do. So I'm pretty excited to meet today for that, uh, and just kind of figure out how we're gonna be just as empowering to the adults in the audience, you know? So yeah.
VICTOR
Super. Yeah, we get a chance to start, uh, doing some presentations together, which will be a lot of fun. I think it'll be really great. So, um, today everyone we want to talk about, uh, something we were just chatting about the other day is kind of filling in this statement of, I know I'm successful when, and it's something that I learned, uh, through reading and through one of my mentors and coaches. And it's such a great statement cuz it's a great mindset, um, you know, kind of, uh, kickstart to your, to your day or to your life in itself. It's a great philosophy to have and something that I wanna start with and, and I'll have you start Deanna, but something that I try to follow all the time is something I learned from Tony Robbins and there's, there's two ways of, of living your life and you can live them simultaneously.
One is a science of achievement, which is knowing what you want, uh, knowing why you want it. So you get really emotionally connected to it and then taking massive action towards it. And if it's not working, you try something else. Try something else. That's a science that, that really does work. It's, it's like a recipe. But then there's another part that I think we're gonna talk more about today cuz we don't talk about a lot. I mean, we talk positive overall, but healing every day. You know, these, these are tough topics that we discuss. Um, the other part of it is you got science of achievement and you have something called art of fulfillment. And the art of fulfillment. It's called an art because it's different for everybody. And speaking of art, you just shared some of your art pieces if you want. Do you wanna share? Can you share one or no?
DEANNA
Oh my God. Yeah. But here's the deal. Y'all are not allowed to make fun of me cause watercolor is a very new thing for me. Okay. Side note. This is still on topic though, I swear. My girlfriend, Caitlin, um, she says that I like to dabble in things like, like I have tried out so many different types of art. I'm sure we've talked about it before, like wood burning and charcoal and pastels and, and different kinds of paint. Like I paint windows and I've done giant wood cutouts to like put in my yard during the holidays. Like I, she says I dabble. And then someone else was like, no, that's hyper fixation. Like, you get really excited about one thing, you get bored and then you try something else. Well, anyway, my current dabbling hyper fixation is watercolor. And it has like, it's, it has challenged me, given me a challenge to not have to be so uniform with stuff that you do have to be a little more abstract.
DEANNA
And so I feel like a little kid's showing this. This is the first one I did, um, a little while back. It's a mushroom. I was actually inspired by someone who did like, uh, forest enchanted mushrooms with those alcohol markers. Oh, those markers are so cool. But they're really expensive and I don't have money to do that right now to buy new markers, but, so cool. Love it. And then this one again, trying to just let go. It's not perfect, but they're flowers, they're like roses. I don't know what's going on with the stems. Yeah, that's so fun. So yeah, just artistic expression. And I, I love that. I love doing stuff like that. It's
VICTOR
Great. And I think we should do an whole episode on our artwork. We should do that. So make a,
DEANNA
I totally agree.
VICTOR
So what's great about art, everyone has their own interpretation of what it is and how it, you know, how it looks. That's why when you go to a museum, there's all different types of, of, of art. And, and what Tony Robbins is talking about is the art of fulfillment. Meaning this, that no matter what brings you joy, don't wait for it to be finished or don't wait for the goal to be achieved. And, and then you're happy. He says, happily achieve. So whatever it is that you're going towards, um, don't wait for it to be finished. Just be and then say, okay, now I can be happy. Be happy now. And I think part of being successful, what I've learned in my life, and again, I'm only speaking for myself, but, um, you know, people say that, you know, I, I want this, I want that, uh, I want this relationship and then I'll be happy.
The the problem with that is, is you're looking for some outside source to bring you happiness. And if that outside source doesn't come, then what? You're not gonna be happy. You can choose to be happy. And, and again, I'm put aside that, you know, life happens and things happen. I get that. But I'm talking about day to day. And that's why one of the activities that I've talked about it a million times is at the end of the day, I write down my three wins for the day. Whether it's personal, professional, it's getting me a aligned with my wins for those days. So I can, I can, uh, celebrate. And celebrate means just to be like, wow, that was a great day. You know, because again, I feel not every day's perfect, but you can always find some wins. Even if you had the worst day, you can find something, whatever that is. It could be little, it could be big. So my point is, the whole premise of today's podcast is to really talk about what success means to us and some of the things that, you know, we feel that we're successful when these things are happening in our lives or what we're choosing to do and focus on. Because as everyone says, the people that I study, Tony Robbins, et cetera, focus turns into feelings. Your, whatever you focus on, you feel whatever that is in your life. So, uh, when you think about that d
DEANNA
Yeah, I agree. I that's, I talked about it on live this morning that this whole philosophy where I started like thinking about healing every day, it started be because of, because of my experience in cognitive behavioral therapy. It is about living in the moment and feeling what you're feeling in the moment, whatever that feeling be, which includes joy and happiness. You know, because it's not a, like, like when, when depression happens, right? It's not just feeling sad. Some people think that's what it is. It's not just sadness, it's depletion, it's feeling numb. It's feeling like the world could be better without me, right? It's, it's so much more than that. So when, when we don't allow ourselves to feel our feelings, it's not just the yucky feelings, it's not just the uncomfortable ones, it's all of it, right? And I spent so many years not feeling the full spectrum of my emotions or feeling the true weight of them because of the uncomfortable ones, because of the, again, I say yucky feelings cuz we say that to the kids all the time.
But I feel that because I'm able to take the joy in the journey, it, I, I can celebrate it each day. You know, I can also know that I'm okay to feel all of the bad feelings too. So I I agree totally. Um, you know, we've talked about, um, I know about making decisions to, you know, to exercise or to choose what we eat or to choose, uh, you know, a different path. Cuz there's always the power to choose, right? And I, I truly feel like I, I'm choosing to sit with those feelings and I'm choosing to enjoy each day, each day of the process, even when it's difficult. So yeah, I think success is not a destination, right? Success is the journey that we're on, right? That each and every day we go through.
VICTOR
Yeah. Yeah. Like using money for an example, like Wayne Dyer, uh, taught me this idea that, um, people make a lot of money and that makes some successful uhuh, it's successful. People make a lot of money. So the success comes first. So you have to cultivate that. It's an internal thing really, because, I mean, have you ever noticed that when you're feeling a certain way and you're really focusing on something great and something powerful, something amazing happens in your life? I mean, it just, it just how things work. So let's kick it off with the statement. I know I'm successful when you start with one and then we'll bounce back and Forth.
DEANNA
Okay? And we'll have to bounce back and forth cuz I don't just wanna talk about work and I don't just wanna talk about family, right? Oh. Although it's all a part of my life, right? But I'm gonna, I'm gonna start with work because we were talking about this yesterday. Um, I have so many that I could say about work, but the one that we discussed was, um, I feel successful when schools invite me back and schools request me after they've heard me speak. Um, it is, oh, I don't wanna cry. It, it is such an honor to get to teach this and connect with people. Um, but like, they could see us one time and be like, oh, that's enough. Check mark. We'll do something else next year. But to have people not only learn, but be moved and connect and really see how this survivor-led curriculum impacts people, especially how we do it.
I mean, twice yesterday, um, Victor told me that two, two different districts specifically requested me to come back next year. And, um, it's almost indescribable, but I'm gonna do my best to describe it. I was taught so much as a kid that my true self was ugly. That I put up a facade to the world. And when I was at home with my parents, that was my true self. I, I was mean and hurtful and an inate and ungrateful and disrespectful. And I've, that is a negative self-talk that was taught to me that I repeated to myself for years. And I thought that if I didn't acknowledge that, then I was selfish. I was big-headed, I was full of myself. But you can actually acknowledge that you have a gift and you can use it to help other people and not be selfish at all. I do have a gift. I, um, I'm very good at connecting with people and listening and I think that I've learned a lot from you about, you know, really having an audience hang on to everything that you say. And it's so cool to have people recognize that and say, we'd love to have you come back. So I feel successful when people see my gift and want more of it.
VICTOR
That's awesome.
DEANNA
Yeah.
VICTOR
Well, I was very, I was very excited to share that with you yesterday and that kind of, it's a piggyback to what I'm feeling. I know I'm successful when they are asking you back because it makes me realize that I am successful because I created something that can stand on its own. Not, not everyone can do it like you can or or me for that cause I created it. But, but the fact that they're asking you to come back, they're not saying, well, you know, this doesn't live without Victor. People used to think that. And, um, I'm so happy that people want you and they're, and said, you know, we love you Victor, but we want Deanna. And I'm like, that's fine with me. Um, I created it. I, not originally, but I, now that I'm, you know, seeing how it's evolved, it's been designed really now to, to kind of stand on its own and to the right people to present it to the world.
Um, yeah. So that's, that's a great, that makes me feel successful when I hear things like that. And then to share it with you brings more joy because you get very emotional and you, you deserve it. You deserve the fact that I know that the kids and the staff and the parents are in good hands with you. It's amazing. It's an amazing feeling. So, all right. So I know I am successful when I can have the freedom and the flexibility to go and watch my kids in whatever activities they're in. Um, I think we were doing work, but we'll bounce back and forth. That's fine.
DEANNA
Oh, but yeah, no, I just wanted to make sure I covered more than just one aspect. .
VICTOR
Yeah, I mean, just the fact that like, even when we are at a school, we get done relatively early compared to most people. And that's something I think sometimes I take for granted. Um, but the fact that I, yesterday I went to see my son play baseball. Uh, he's in high school now and he, I I'm not able to coach. Um, I'm, I'm, I'm a father spectator sitting on the side and I want to, I'm jumping up and I'm like freaking out. And I've learned in the last couple of days that he's seeing how I am. Cause I get very intense, especially when I want him to do so well. But I learned, I can't control that. I can't, all I can do is go there, support him, keep my emotions at bay. Um, and I said to myself, I'm gonna go with a new intention.
And I went yesterday and I sat there, um, next to his mother and my ex-wife. And, uh, we talked and it was just, it was really kind of great cause I was focusing on the game, but I was being successful because I, I was, I had a chance to see my son play and they, they ended up winning eight to two, which is very cool. And ironically, everyone, the team that he played, I had just spoke to that whole team a couple of days ago on Zoom, which is so, so cool.
DEANNA
So cool. But, um, anyone Recognize you?
VICTOR
No. Cause I had a head on my sunglasses and, you know, they were losing, so they really weren't paying any attention. There's one more game in the series tomorrow at home. Oh, okay. Hopefully, maybe, you know, I might end up going up to the bench or something if it's,
DEANNA
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You did the Clark Kent thing where you literally put glasses on and you were a different person. That's your Oh
VICTOR
Yes. I had my Woodstock baseball hat on and I had, uh, I had, you know, my sunglasses. I don't, you can call , you can call whatever you want. Pacini. Um, so watching my son, my, my daughter, uh, here's a, another part of that aspect. Uh, my daughter's in the musical, mama Mia at her high school. Um, we were at the ma the meeting, they wanted parents to volunteer. And I'm like, oh boy. Like I, I'm not into that kind of thing. Like, I'm gonna sell souvenirs and stuff. So someone said we should do a karaoke night. And I went up to them, I said, listen, I, I, I don't do karaoke, but I have all the equipment. It's very easy for me. I'm happy to donate it all. So tonight I'm setting it all up at this local cafe and they're opening it up to try to raise money for the, the theater group.
And kids are gonna come in and families are gonna come in and sing karaoke, mostly all Mama Mia, you know, Abba stuff. So I'm very excited about that. So that's another part of the success. And then, uh, Luca just getting a chance to watch him grow and to see him. He's, he's, he's a seventh grader and he's playing basketball and he's, uh, he, he's just such a cool kid and he makes me laugh anyway, so I know I'm being successful when I get to see my kids do their activities and, and, and now especially just to sit back and, and to just watch and not be necessarily in it.
DEANNA
So, yeah. And, and to see them just develop and grow and really become total individuals, you know, because like when, when kids are really, really little, I mean, we see all, I'm so sorry, we see like regular little kids stuff, right? Like testing boundaries and you know, trying to jump off the couch and do back flips, like very developmentally appropriate stuff. But as they get older, you, you see their, their personality that's not from you, that's not from the other parent. Although there are bits and pieces of you with them, right. You see them come out and it, it is amazing. And, and Harry's only five, but I, there there are parts of him that I'm like, that's not me. And that's certainly not my husband. That's just Harry. And it's, it's such a cool thing to see it. You know, what, what time is this Karaoke?
VICTOR
Uh, seven o'clock. You should come.
DEANNA
I, dude, I might come. I'm so dead serious. We'll talk about this when we meet later, but, um, I literally don't have plans. That would be so cool. We get to hang out even more than . It
VICTOR
Could be my, you could be my sidekick. You can help me be the DJ and play
DEANNA
I got you. I got you. Are you gonna sing at all or no?
VICTOR
Yeah, I probably will to get it started.
DEANNA
You're the worst kind of person that would karaoke too, because karaoke is supposed to be like mediocre, terrible singers and it's supposed to be fun. And so you're just gonna make everybody look bad. So thanks. I
VICTOR
Don't know. A lot of high school students are, they're all in the theater and they're all, it's Cool. There's so many talented people. It's unbelievable.
DEANNA
So, well, when I heard Mimi sing, I think you showed me video, uh, especially when people were like when the director was like, Hey, if everybody could not interrupt, we're filming this. And then people were interrupting. Yeah. But when Mimi's she's so gifted. It's, it's beautiful. So yeah, I, I can definitely see success like that. Okay. My turn. My turn. Okay. I feel successful when my kid can share his authentic emotions with me without fear of how I'm going to respond. He is so assertive in his emotions and how he's feeling that whether he's angry or happy or sad, he shows it. Now we are working on the behavior aspect of it, again, developmentally appropriate. It's, they're gonna be, uh, you know, kick their legs. They're gonna stomp down the hall, they're gonna do things like that cuz they, they are working with those very big feelings.
His emotional intelligence and his frustration tolerance and all of that stuff. I mean, it, there are plenty of adults who don't have that right. But the fact that he is, is safe enough with not just safe enough. He is just safe. Period. With me, my husband, uh, my in-laws, his teachers at school, I'm so thankful for the preschool that we chose. Uh, I mean, I feel so successful that he is given what every child should be given what you and I deserved and didn't get. You know, I, again, I know you love your parents very much. Um, I would never compare them to, to the way my parents were, but it was a different time, right? That you could to be seen and not heard. That you weren't given the space to share your feelings. To be open to, to not be afraid to share.
Say things like, I'm, I'm frustrated with you. I always tell Harry he's allowed to be mad at me. It's not gonna change the fact that he doesn't get to play on his tablet at midnight . It's not gonna change the fact that he's not allowed to, you know, go outside without permission. Right? I mean, there are rules and boundaries that are to be followed, but just having feelings is not disrespectful. I find that as such a success. I am not teaching my kid to compartmentalize or to, to, to bottle everything up or, or you better be calm. It's so unrealistic to just be calm. You're, you can be totally angry and still be totally fine. Calm is, I feel like calm is so unrealistic and I don't wanna teach my kid. I'm not always calm . So for me, I feel successful when my kid can be authentic with me. Mm-hmm. And as in most things, that's an honor, honestly.
VICTOR
That's great. That's very, very cool. Um, I noticed, I say I love that a lot. I think, I think that
DEANNA
Me too, Jenny, uh, was it Jenny that pointed it out to me? Shout out Jenny . She was like, you guys do say that a lot. But I listen to a lot of podcasts. A lot of people on podcasts say that.
VICTOR
Well, yeah. I I mean, it's just a couple of words.
DEANNA
We're passionate.
VICTOR
Yeah, we're very passionate. That's a great one. Um, and I would have to kind of, not kind of, I do agree with you cuz I, I, you know, uh, again, love my family, love my parents, but we grew up in a time when, you know, kids, you know, didn't talk about their feelings and we didn't cry. And my dad would yell at me if I started crying, you know? Mm-hmm. not being a baby, boys don't cry, blah, blah, blah. And so I, I think it's such a healthy way of raising a child by allowing them to be their authentic selves and to say, Hey, you want to talk? That's something I do. And, and as they get older, you know, they're gonna start going to their friends. But it's great when they do come to you and they're like, Hey, can we talk? Or they just start, they're not at that stage where, Hey, can I talk to you?
They're more like, they'll just say it and then I mm-hmm. and that's great too. So, um, very, very important. And it, that's what's so cool about this statement. It it, it runs the gamut. It can be personal, professional. Yeah. It doesn't matter because life isn't just one thing or another. It's, it's all encompassing. Um, so if I got to a, a material thing, I know I'm successful when, uh, not only that I feel my business has, has really grown and it's very exciting, but I was able to buy a car recently, uh, yesterday. And, um, that to me doesn't define me. Um, but I am gonna enjoy it and, and not feel like there's a part of me that's like, oh my gosh, like, why did you buy that car? Because, you know, you could have done so much more with the money, blah, blah, blah.
But on the other hand, it's like, it was on my list for like the last five years and I said, one day I will have this car. And I did it. And I, I, I love it. And again, it doesn't define who I am, but it does, I think in life we deserve to have things that make us feel happy in that sense. And, um, again, it's like it, I remember when I was younger, I learned a valuable lesson that, you know, I I I got happy when I got my first, I bought a bicycle. It was a predator bicycle. It was like very popular. And I had it stolen. It was stolen like a week later after I bought it. I went to a park. I was hitting golf balls and I put it against a tree and it was gone when I came back. And I was devastated. And it taught me the lesson that things aren't always gonna be there. We want them to be, but whether it's people or things, it doesn't define. Like eventually I got over it. Um, and I found out it was a friend. A friend of a friend that took it.
DEANNA
Did you ever get Back?
VICTOR
Never got it back. I don't think I did yet. No.
DEANNA
What's his name? Let's Facebook stalk him. Yeah. Yes. I'm really good at finding people online. So, side note, um, if, if you are a bully online and you have your full government name on there, I will find you and I will contact your mother. Just, just saying, you guys, I'll contact his mother, Victor, I
VICTOR
Will do it. She, she may not be alive still, but at this point, but
DEANNA
I'll say a prayer .
VICTOR
Anyway, my point is I know I'm su successful when I have a list of goals and I'm able to check them off as I start to achieve them.
DEANNA
Absolutely. I am a very, um, goal-oriented person. Um, my mother-in-law, she said that the other day, she, cuz I told her that I am not a very spontaneous person. Right? Like I, I like a plan, I like to know our school schedules well in advance. I like to know like, what's coming up in the next week. Like, I, I, I don't really do well with surprises. I can definitely come off as like rude when, when something unexpected happens, or in my mind if something was supposed to go a certain way and immediately I'm like, I better set a boundary. And I'm like, well wait a minute, I maybe I could just be a little flexible. Right? Right. But my mother-in-law said that I, I have a little bit of type A personality, you know, and, and in some aspects of my life, like with goal setting and, and working towards something, it can be so helpful, but it can also make me really rigid sometimes.
So for me, I feel I am successful when I use the skills I learned in therapy. Meaning I have to acknowledge I can't control everything. I have to acknowledge that flexibility is a part of life. If I want to feel my feelings in a healthy and productive way, I have to, I don't have to, I can choose right. To sit with uncomfortable feelings, not to be calm, but to feel them and to be human. And I have done a lot of work on that over the last, I mean years, right? But this last week, my nightmares have been so just rough and it's what I spent my majority of my therapy session the last night talking about, um, a whole hour just talking about, you know, how these nightmares, it's not even about sexual abuse with my dad. It's about being controlled. It's about locking me in my room and not letting me out, telling me I'm not allowed to talk to anyone.
And that like, that's so isolating. And, and I am choosing that those, those come outta nowhere. It feels like now my internal system know what's going on, right? But my analytical self, like my waking self, I don't know when nightmares are gonna happen, but they've been, they've been so, so rough this last week. But I feel successful when I can wake up in the morning, give myself time to cry or ground and then continue on with my day, even if it would've been tough. Even if it, it bubbles up throughout the day. The, the image or the feeling I got. I feel like I'm successful when I can feel my feelings authentically. I know I can manage them. And if I can't, I also know that I'm successful when I can ask for help. And I, I feel like that is a huge shift in my life over the last 10 years cuz I thought asking for help was weakness and it's not, it's actually one of the bravest things we could do to be vulnerable. Right? Totally. And, and to me feeling and using my skills is a huge success.
VICTOR
I love that .
DEANNA
I see, me too. I love that too.
VICTOR
It's so true though. I mean, that's one of the things we talk to kids about. Like, it's okay, first of all know that you're not alone and know that you can talk to somebody. And we both, I had people surrounding me all the time growing up and first of all, no one ever said to me, Hey, are you okay? Do you want to, you know, we just, again, we, we had to pretend a facade that everything was fine. But again, these people were around, but I didn't think they were able to help me. And now it's like that, that's the one thing I'm proud of with, with our curriculum is just keep reminding kids to not keep things locked up inside. So I, I, I think that's extremely important and it's really, really great. And I love, you know, we all have had stories, right? But every time you say, like, every time we talk and do a podcast or just talk, I just keep being reminded of how challenging your life really was growing up. Um, and I can't, Ima like being locked in your room. Like whatever I that's, that's just, you are a testament of total bravery and courage. And it's just, I think it's just don't cry. I think
DEANNA
It's . I'm , I'm crying.
VICTOR
It's just, it's just fantastic. And I think you are just an amazing person. So, um,
DEANNA
Hey, yeah, okay. I know you're gonna go. Don't lose your thought. Um, samesies double back to you. And, um, you know, whenever people ask me about our work relationship and you as my boss, people ask me all the time if you're my dad or my brother or my husband, and I'm always like, Ew, no, he's my, he's my boss, he's my mentor. But I, I say so seriously. Um, he is one of the best mentors I've ever had in my life. Um, I really only see myself as ever of having, um, two mentors, two true mentors that I looked up to that taught me so much. Not just about about work or about like what we were doing together, but about life in general. One of them was my soccer coach Adrian. Um, he passed away a couple years back, but not before I told him about the abuse.
Um, love, love him still in life and in death. And you, and it's so funny that those were both men that showed me it's an it's okay to be trusting it's okay to be vulnerable. And so when you say you see bravery in me, I, I I love that and I appreciate it. Um, I see, uh, a future with you. You show, I mean, you're 20 years older than me, you show that life does keep going. That successes can keep happening. We can still set and accomplish goals our entire life. And, and I I find that to be so empowering. So I'm sorry if you forgot what you were about to say, but I had to just uno reverse you on that compliment there.
VICTOR
Thank you. I appreciate that. Um, yeah, it's great to have people in your life that can actually say nice things and, and yeah, , it's, it's great cuz it's nice to be reminded sometimes. Um, I'll do one more and that is this, I know I'm successful when I feel healthy. Um, I've had some health issues a little bit in the last couple of months, but, um, without having to go to a doctor, I've been going to a chiropractor and he has just, it, it's amazing what he's done. And I'm, I'm so much better. I feel better. Um, and I feel successful when I'm able to go to the gym and maybe my workout outs aren't as intense as they were when I was 25 years old. But it doesn't matter. I'm still in really good shape for, for where I'm at in my life and I feel successful when I'm feeling good with eating and, and, um, I love food. I love to eat, but to eat in a healthy way and, um, to also, you know, splurge too, but really stay focused. I'm back in that mindset of wanting like when I'm eating right, I'm not as hungry as I am. You know, and I, again, that's all about, we can do a whole thing on that. It's like, you know, when you're eating a lot of carbs, you crave more carbs, but when you kind of decrease it, it helps your body to like not crave them. And
DEANNA
Oh, sugar kills me.
VICTOR
Yeah. Yeah. So I'm trying not to, I'm really looking at a lot of labels now and things have sugar in them naturally. Mm-hmm. . But if any added sugars, uhuh, I try not to buy that anymore.
DEANNA
Yeah. It makes my hand swell. It's so bad.
VICTOR
There is a chef, uh, uh, Bobby Fisher, um, he was on some show, I found him online, but he's Chicago. Um, he has, uh, a company called Slave City. I don't really get anything from his company yet, but he's got an app and he's all about what's Bobby approved and he goes through all the stories. He goes to Costco and he'll tell you, this is Bobby approved, but the app is great because he does all the work for you. It's a scan code, so you scan the, the food, the barcode and it'll tell you Bobby approved or not approved. And that's kind of how I'm basing my, the food that I'm buying now. Um, I love chocolate and I found some chocolate chips that are no added sugar and no alcohol sugar that makes my,
DEANNA
Oh God, those wreck my stomach.
VICTOR
I so, so ill, but just, it's so uncomfortable. So yeah, some that are like naturally uh, sweetened with whatever, but no add added sugars and no a alcohol sugars. So, um, I didn't mean to give a health lesson, but, um, that I feel successful when I'm, I feel like all that's working on all cylinders. So that's what I've got.
DEANNA
Okay. I've got one more and then if you wanna, if you wanna wrap up, you can't. Yeah. Um, with my permission, uh, okay. My, I feel successful when, um, I can sit down and do nothing. So that means I don't feel guilty for sitting on my couch. I don't feel guilty for painting pictures. I don't feel guilty for playing soccer outside. I don't always have to be productive. You know, we live in a very capitalistic society where even your hobbies are often used to, you know, earn income and uh, and even our time is exchanged, right. To get things done right. There is a transaction of time to get laundry done, to do the dishes, to do all that. So like this morning, um, I got up at four 30, which I mean, even though I could have slept in today, I was like, I, I knew I wanted to get some chores done cuz we had our podcasts and we had, uh, we have our meeting today and I have to go pick up soccer uniforms this afternoon.
Like I'm just very busy. But I knew that I wanted to do my makeup today and be on live. I knew that my son was gonna wake up obviously at some point cuz he is an early riser and he was gonna want some of my attention. Uh, and so I had choices, right? Um, I feel successful when instead of going outside and picking up the dog poo today, um, which I, I may have time to do later in, in lieu of that, I decided, um, Harry's super into puns right now and jokes. Uh, and he is h hilarious. Oh my god, dude. So funny. But, um, I had forgotten, I got a stack of them like three years ago and he wasn't old enough to understand puns, right. Or, or funny things. So I, I just found them and I'm like, Harry, look at what mommy has, look at what I found. And he was so excited this morning, literally was sitting on the floor with me and um, you know, we're just reading them. Okay. Yeah. So that didn't get a chore done that I didn't check something off my list cuz I'm goal-oriented. But I did get to spend time with my son. I, I feel successful when I'm not being productive just for the good of the house or a paycheck. I feel good when I can just be, you know?
VICTOR
That's really great. I mean, what a great way to end this, this specific podcast because I think that's the one thing people get so they feel so guilty about. And I raise my hand, like when I want to sit down and watch a movie, I'm like, well, I shouldn't be sitting here. I should be doing this, I should be doing that. We deserve to have downtime. And that could be reading, it could be like you said, drawing or whatever. I mean, I, I I, it's my first summer in this house that I'm in and, and I live near, uh, the square here in town so I can walk and I'm, I'm gonna want to do that when this the summer hits. It's gonna be amazing. So yeah, that's, that's a great
DEANNA
Thing. You know what we're gonna have to do, like, you know how we've done quotes that we live by like 4.0 at this point, um, after summer or maybe sometime during the summer. We should definitely do another round of this and talk about more successes. Cuz I think, I think it's awesome. I really do. So yeah, I mean there are lots of ways that I feel successful and those are just some of 'em.
VICTOR
Yeah, me too. Uh, that's awesome. Well, um, if you're celebrating this weekend, uh, whatever you're celebrating, uh, have a great weekend, everybody. Um, in the meantime, uh, share this with your family and friends. Uh, we have so many things you can learn [email protected]. Um, if you have, uh, you know, if your state, wherever you are, has passed Aaron's law, um, this is what we do. This is what we're experts at, feel free to share that with your schools and, uh, have a great day, everyone. Uh, don't forget, be present, be playful, and be Powerful
DEANNA
and be happy. Be healthy and be safe.
VICTOR
everyone.
